October 24, 2013

Sayonara fourth trimester.

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Our baby daughter is three months old today.  We have crammed so much change into those three months, & I’m not just referring to her ever increasing chubby thighs (because they’re ever changing too, & ever expanding, & I could quite literally eat them, … but I won’t).

Despite packing up a house + moving house within the first week of Frankie’s life, & then my subsequent return to paid work within her fourth week, believe it or not … I’ve actually been going really gently on myself, & herself, & Max.  There have been the so many lazy days, minimal showers, lots of greasy hair, hardly a scrap of makeup, a permanently messy house, & a whole lot o’ slap stick meals.  Messy homes & sub standard cooked meals aside, I couldn’t be happier.  I knew if I was going to survive my fourth trimester (because really, that’s what the first twelve weeks post babe are like, … a fourth trimester), I was going to need to go gently, & so that’s what I’ve done, & I honestly believe all o’ that ‘gentle’ is the reason why I’ve been feeling like I’m on cloud nine.

Truth be told, I don’t actually remember a time in all o’ my (nearly) 31 years of life where I’ve ever known happiness quite like this.  Even on the shit days that seem plagued with many a toddler tantrum & fussy newbie babe who appears to require 24/7 rocking, I’ve just been feeling really happy, almost deliriously happy actually, & … completely at peace.  And I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is, it’s working, & I’m whole-heartedly enjoying my blissed out state (& I imagine Dave is too).

All of the days within these last twelve weeks have been busy, but a blissful kind of busy, y’know like … really just focusing my attention on feeding this sweet chubby babe who feeds two hourly, & then turning my attention to her very deserving, & very patient big brother post feeds.  And in all honesty, once I’ve fed, burped, settled babe, put babe to sleep, & then turned my attention to Max, I can assure you the two hours are up, & Frankie needs to be fed again.  And so the cycle repeats, & it just keeps repeating all day, every day.  And I have no doubt that from the outside, or to the untrained eye it might not even seem that busy, but if all I appear to achieve on a day to day basis is the feeding of one chubby babe, & the entertaining of her delightful older brother, well … it’s a flippin’ achievement!

At the moment, a daily shower, a clean house, a nutritious diet, any kind of exercise regime, regular catchups with friends, a social life, & even regular blogging are simply entirely out of the question, because I’m right in the thick of what I know will be some of the busiest of my parenting years.  These are busy days, & I just try to shower when Dave gets home, or not.  Sometimes, I’d rather sit on the couch in all of my grease & disgustingness, & just … stare at the ceiling really.  Because sometimes sitting + staring is even nicer than standing + showering, & Dave will eyeroll & make comical remarks about my being ‘disgusting’ for choosing to sit + stare instead of showering, but I just think to myself, ‘sweetheart.  You have got NO idea’.

This fourth trimester has been kind to me, really kind.  But the thing is, I think it’s been so kind because I’ve been kind to myself.  And then I’ve also had the added bonus of having some incredibly kind friends around me who’ve cooked food, visited regularly & not judged my messy home, or my non makeup’d pimply face, or my National Geographic breasts which I’ve had to flop out on the hour every two hours.  And it’s been the so many of these simple things that have made for one very happy Mama, & I have one contented babe + one tornado toddler to show for it.

And I couldn’t be in a happier place.  In my nearly thirty-one years of life, I’ve known some really sad years & then some really happy ones, but never this happy – & I guess it’s just nice to think that Motherhood, & working Motherhood, & a good marriage have really just been the combination of things that have shown me just how good life really can be.

Frankie Jean, you are the sweetest child.  You are so content, & you are blissed out, & quite easily the most chilled out human being I have probably ever met.  When you cry for milk I feel relieved, because it’s just nice to see you getting a little bit angry about something.  But then it’s also nice to see you latch on, & guzzle milk ferociously, & switch from angry to blissed out.  Again.

Everyone who meets you falls in love with you.  And everyone who meets you literally laughs at your chubby cheeks, which are in fact so chubby you could literally use them for pillows.  Your thighs have rolls for days, & I can’t wait for the warmer months so that we can parade those rolls around for the world to see, because they are magnificent. 

You are smiling, & even laughing as of last week (I’m sure it was our holiday to Adelaide we have to thank for your laughter).  When you smile, I see your dimples underneath all of the layers of chub within those chubby cheeks.  And when you smile, your eyes smile too.  They’re a deep blue for now, but I’m almost certain that they’ll turn hazel, just like your big bro’s did.  Or maybe they’ll stay blue, & we can all laugh about your paternity, & make ‘milkman’ jokes like we did with Max.

Life is just so good with you in it.  And I just can’t wait to see what your life has in store for you.  For as long as I have anything to do with it, it’ll be a happy one indeed.

{ 28 comments… read them below or add one }

Reannon October 24, 2013 at 9:47 am

Well this is just a lovely joyous bliss-filled post to read. I’m really happy for you Chez xx

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:30 pm

Thanks so much lovely,

The thing is, I FEEL joyous, so I’m so glad that translated through the words :)

x

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Housewife in Heels October 24, 2013 at 9:54 am

So happy to hear you’re thriving in this role. Hope the honeymoon never ends x

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:30 pm

You & me both lovely lady, you & me both!

ha!

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Deb @ Bright and Precious October 24, 2013 at 10:07 am

Lovely to read this, Cherie. I had a blissful babymoon the second time around too. xx

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:31 pm

Maybe we go in more relaxed second time round’, & so we create blissed out babes?

No idea what the recipe is, but whatever it is, I’m sticking to it with this one! ;)

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Mez October 24, 2013 at 12:18 pm

I am just so very happy for you! Such a lovely post and special time. The need to be kind to yourself really resonated with me. Cheers, Mez x

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:31 pm

I really hope you CAN be kind to yourself Mez!

I learnt it with Max, & now I’m actually implementing it with Frankie!

x

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Lucy October 24, 2013 at 12:48 pm

Wish my second time around was this blissed out but I feel like I’m coming into my own now my boys are one and three and feel really happy so I can relate to your post about mothering simply and enjoying and thriving on the simplicity. You’re right these are the busiest of parenting years but boy they’re only little for such a short time so I think your perspective is spot on Cherie!

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:32 pm

Lucy,

You’re not alone!

It took me a full YEAR to actually find my groove with Max.

7 months of that were dedicated to reflux, & then some pretty poor sleeping habits formed from the reflux-y months. It was just … a really tough year actually!

Beautiful, absolutely. But … tough!

I hope you’re enjoying your newfound groove Mama!

x

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Bec October 24, 2013 at 12:49 pm

:: Reading this makes me think it’s not so scary to give my 20 month old daughter a sibling. Thank you for sharing the good feel vibes ::

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:33 pm

It’s not, I promise :)

We went in very fearful wondering how we’d do another ‘Max’ again, but as it turns out, we got a Frankie :)

x

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Mother Down Under October 24, 2013 at 1:24 pm

I am so happy that you are happy!
It really was so wonderful to read this.
There is nothing better than newborn chubby cheeks and chubby thighs.
And I for one think that somedays showers are just overrated!

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:34 pm

Daily showers sure are overrated!

It’s not like I’m running daily marathons anyway.

I mean, I am, but metaphorical ones, y’know? ;)

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Ashlyn October 24, 2013 at 3:23 pm

I giggled and teared up!!! So so so happy for you babe, can’t wait to bask in her chubbiness xx

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:35 pm

You & me both!

x

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Jane @nourish from the inside out October 24, 2013 at 5:17 pm

Cherie,

I loved this post.. so much happiness… it radiates off my computer screen…

Frankie is such a sweetheart and you can just see in your eyes how settled and happy you are! Its beautiful to see
I cant wait to catch up again for cuddles (with your gorgeous kids..) and you too!
Much love
Jane xxxx

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:36 pm

Thank you so much Jane!

I’m feeling so blissed out, and I’m blissed out because I’m not usually a … ‘blissful’ person, so this is new for me, & I am BASKING in it :)

x

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Kathleen October 24, 2013 at 7:17 pm

How beautiful Cherie! A lovely time in a lovely life. Happy days indeed :-)
PS. Friends who bring food are the best kind of friends.

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:39 pm

The very BEST Kath!

x

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Emma @ My Book Corner October 24, 2013 at 7:25 pm

Too gorgeous for words!!

Welcome to the world little one, and what a wonderful start you’ve had x

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:39 pm

Thanks so much Emma :)

I hope she continues to have a beautiful life x

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Sarah October 24, 2013 at 7:47 pm

So glad you’ve found your happy place, it’s a great place to be!

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Raising Master Max October 24, 2013 at 7:48 pm

Thank you so much Sarah!

It truly is.

I can’t believe I’m this chilled whilst going through newborn’hood. With Max, it took a LOT longer to find my groove.

x

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Vanessa October 24, 2013 at 8:32 pm

Sounds like you’re all doing amazingly!

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Carlee October 24, 2013 at 8:51 pm

Chez you really are an incredible & loving mumma, it is a beautiful thing to be around & we are just so proud of you. I swear seeing Frankie make me clucky even when I have said “no more”. You are so right that time flies when juggling the very important mumma role – thank you for reminding me to slow down. Miss you guys already :( xxxxxxxx

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Jen R October 25, 2013 at 8:08 pm

Just sooooo happy to read this Cherie and see u are really glowing in your 4th trimester beautiful Mumma of 2 xx

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Tanya floodproofmum October 27, 2013 at 6:25 pm

Hi, Glad to see you are relishing this time of your life. It goes by all too quickly so cherish it. I had twins the second time around and I don’t think I was non-comatose often enough to really really, deeply feel as happy as you describe. I am sure I did, I just don’t always remember so thanks for bringing that special time back. PS: I found you via Aussie Blogs to Love,
Cheers
Tanya

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