Our baby daughter is three months old today. We have crammed so much change into those three months, & I’m not just referring to her ever increasing chubby thighs (because they’re ever changing too, & ever expanding, & I could quite literally eat them, … but I won’t).
Despite packing up a house + moving house within the first week of Frankie’s life, & then my subsequent return to paid work within her fourth week, believe it or not … I’ve actually been going really gently on myself, & herself, & Max. There have been the so many lazy days, minimal showers, lots of greasy hair, hardly a scrap of makeup, a permanently messy house, & a whole lot o’ slap stick meals. Messy homes & sub standard cooked meals aside, I couldn’t be happier. I knew if I was going to survive my fourth trimester (because really, that’s what the first twelve weeks post babe are like, … a fourth trimester), I was going to need to go gently, & so that’s what I’ve done, & I honestly believe all o’ that ‘gentle’ is the reason why I’ve been feeling like I’m on cloud nine.
Truth be told, I don’t actually remember a time in all o’ my (nearly) 31 years of life where I’ve ever known happiness quite like this. Even on the shit days that seem plagued with many a toddler tantrum & fussy newbie babe who appears to require 24/7 rocking, I’ve just been feeling really happy, almost deliriously happy actually, & … completely at peace. And I don’t know what it is, but whatever it is, it’s working, & I’m whole-heartedly enjoying my blissed out state (& I imagine Dave is too).
All of the days within these last twelve weeks have been busy, but a blissful kind of busy, y’know like … really just focusing my attention on feeding this sweet chubby babe who feeds two hourly, & then turning my attention to her very deserving, & very patient big brother post feeds. And in all honesty, once I’ve fed, burped, settled babe, put babe to sleep, & then turned my attention to Max, I can assure you the two hours are up, & Frankie needs to be fed again. And so the cycle repeats, & it just keeps repeating all day, every day. And I have no doubt that from the outside, or to the untrained eye it might not even seem that busy, but if all I appear to achieve on a day to day basis is the feeding of one chubby babe, & the entertaining of her delightful older brother, well … it’s a flippin’ achievement!
At the moment, a daily shower, a clean house, a nutritious diet, any kind of exercise regime, regular catchups with friends, a social life, & even regular blogging are simply entirely out of the question, because I’m right in the thick of what I know will be some of the busiest of my parenting years. These are busy days, & I just try to shower when Dave gets home, or not. Sometimes, I’d rather sit on the couch in all of my grease & disgustingness, & just … stare at the ceiling really. Because sometimes sitting + staring is even nicer than standing + showering, & Dave will eyeroll & make comical remarks about my being ‘disgusting’ for choosing to sit + stare instead of showering, but I just think to myself, ‘sweetheart. You have got NO idea’.
This fourth trimester has been kind to me, really kind. But the thing is, I think it’s been so kind because I’ve been kind to myself. And then I’ve also had the added bonus of having some incredibly kind friends around me who’ve cooked food, visited regularly & not judged my messy home, or my non makeup’d pimply face, or my National Geographic breasts which I’ve had to flop out on the hour every two hours. And it’s been the so many of these simple things that have made for one very happy Mama, & I have one contented babe + one tornado toddler to show for it.
And I couldn’t be in a happier place. In my nearly thirty-one years of life, I’ve known some really sad years & then some really happy ones, but never this happy – & I guess it’s just nice to think that Motherhood, & working Motherhood, & a good marriage have really just been the combination of things that have shown me just how good life really can be.
Frankie Jean, you are the sweetest child. You are so content, & you are blissed out, & quite easily the most chilled out human being I have probably ever met. When you cry for milk I feel relieved, because it’s just nice to see you getting a little bit angry about something. But then it’s also nice to see you latch on, & guzzle milk ferociously, & switch from angry to blissed out. Again.
Everyone who meets you falls in love with you. And everyone who meets you literally laughs at your chubby cheeks, which are in fact so chubby you could literally use them for pillows. Your thighs have rolls for days, & I can’t wait for the warmer months so that we can parade those rolls around for the world to see, because they are magnificent.
You are smiling, & even laughing as of last week (I’m sure it was our holiday to Adelaide we have to thank for your laughter). When you smile, I see your dimples underneath all of the layers of chub within those chubby cheeks. And when you smile, your eyes smile too. They’re a deep blue for now, but I’m almost certain that they’ll turn hazel, just like your big bro’s did. Or maybe they’ll stay blue, & we can all laugh about your paternity, & make ‘milkman’ jokes like we did with Max.
Life is just so good with you in it. And I just can’t wait to see what your life has in store for you. For as long as I have anything to do with it, it’ll be a happy one indeed.